Frequently Asked Questions
We’ll try to answer your frequently asked questions without being either too crude or coldly scientific. Some things are best put candidly without mincing words, so if we offend you, please accept our apology.
How do Feeldoe® and Realdoe® work?
Insert the bulbous “pony” end vaginally (or rectally), spread the labia, and nestle those nifty little ridges of the “saddle” against your clitoris. We trust ya’ll will figure out what to do with the “horse” end that looks like a dildo.
What kind of goop are Feeldoe® and Realdoe® made from?
They are made from Class VI Pharmacopoeia Grade Silicone ~ that’s the medical stuff rated as safe for bodily insertion. They have no odor at all because they do not contain any questionable chemical additives. They are completely hypoallergenic which means no rashes, no irritation, and no infections. They’re not latex and do not contain any of that jelly stuff, either. Even our color pigments are limited (by our own choice) to only those approved by the FDA.
They contain no cheap additives or filler materials, like phthalates or PVC, which may compromise your health just to make some extra profits. Feeldoe® and Realdoe® are engineered to last. Just inspect it occasionally for abrasions … like don’t get it caught in your zipper. Even though they have no taste, remember, no biting! Masticating and masturbating are not the same thing.
What do I do if I find someone selling an imitation?
CLICK HERE to email us with the details, please! Feeldoe® and Realdoe® are patent-protected by law. This is how we can all be absolutely sure of the product quality and your safety. Bootleggers typically use that cheap kind of unhealthy material and we have the power and the right to stop them! Profits from patent infringement litigation will be shared with educational scholarship funds.
How do I clean my Feeldoe® or Realdoe®?
You can wash it regularly how ever you wash yourself. If you have the vibrating model, the vibe is water tight. We suggest you remove the vibe before throwing your family friend in the dishwasher or the washing machine, for a general cleaning, or sterilizing it in boiling water. You can also sterilize your Realdoe® or Feeldoe® and the vibe by rinsing them for about 5 minutes in a 10% bleach solution.
Will it really stay on without straps?
Ma’am, there really isn’t a polite way to ask this: Have you ever had a tampon just fall out? Women are naturally retentive. Hold the saddle with your thighs for more support while your muscle groups get used to it, and enjoy some missionary style practice before trying the more athletic positions.
Remember how you felt when someone first took the training wheels off of your bicycle? We understand! It’s natural to feel a little wobbly at first. With practice you gain confidence and condition the pelvic floor. Most people are reporting great success and love their Realdoe®, saying they’ll never go back to a regular ol’ strap on dildo. They’re hoppin’ curbs and poppin’ wheelies like the big kids, and enjoying their new found FREEDOM.
The scalloped ridges on the “saddle” massage the driving partner’s clitoris, and the “pony” rocks her G-spot, while her pubic mound rubs the other partner’s clitoris, and the “horse” (of course) strokes her G-spot… all that stimulation for both women at once? Better bolt the bed to the floor and just hold on to each other ’cause IT’S ALL OVER BUT THE SCREAMIN’!!!
It’s a patented new concept with a new name:
Since “Realdoe®” is a new word Mia made up and registered as her special trade name for this amazing product, you may be wondering how to spell it or say it when there are more than one of them. One is a Realdoe®, and they’re all Realdoe®. The word is the same, singular and plural, just like female deer. The same goes for the realistic versions named Feeldoe®. Maybe keeping it simple is just another one of those southern things!
Is it packable?
Absolutely! Wearing Realdoe® or Feeldoe® is so naturally comfortable, you’ll forget you have it on! Well, if you wear it for hours on end, and don’t get to use it, you might get irritated, but it won’t be because of the product.
~VR OOM! VROOM!~
The vibrator is a small Silver Bullet. This mini vibrator is no bigger than Mia’s favorite lipstick, but it’s a buzzin’ monster, running on three little watch batteries. There’s a sticker on the battery contacts so that the vibe can’t get turned on accidentally while traveling to you. You’ll need to open the vibe and remove the safety sticker. Imagine if that thing went off in transit. Since we ship everything by air mail, the sky police would be calling the bomb squad!
When Mia was told that the vibrator is water tight, she dropped it into a test tube of water – right then and there. They were shocked that she did that, but she wasn’t. (pun, intended) hehehe … She is a scientist, of course she tested it.
Now, as a general rule, batteries don’t take heat well, and this vibe is tiny, so remember to pull it out before you boil your Realdoe® or put it in the dishwasher or washing machine. With all the rocking and squeezing and lubrication… we sure don’t want a vibe to squirt out of it’s hole, so it’s a very snug fit on purpose. Wiggling it up and down (instead of side to side) as you pull, and turning it a bit clockwise (so the battery cap doesn’t unscrew) is the easy way to get it out.
Batteries go in the vibrator with the part number side to the top. These little batteries are very common, but every manufacturer gives ’em several different part numbers. The list is simply too long to list! We suspect it’s just to keep us all confused and probably secure repeat business. Now, if you want a name brand, Duracell 357 or 303 are great and readily available at most drug stores.
Basically, if they’re the same physical size (11.6 mm in diameter by 5.4 mm in thickness) and 1.5 volts to 1.55 volts, and as inexpensive as you can find… you’re good! Okay, you probably don’t go shopping with micrometers in your purse, so here are a few crossover numbers: AG13, 357A, CX44, LR44W, LR44.
How long a battery will last is a matter of the stored amperage, not voltage, and manufactures don’t put the amps on the package since it’s effected by storage conditions. As far as alkaline, lithium, magnesium, or zinc go, alkaline is just fine in this application and usually the least expensive.
Personally, Mia gets three A-76 batteries at the flea market for buck!!! (Inventors … boy, howdy! Like starving artist, they rub those nickels together until the buffaloes scream….).
Petroleum jelly damages latex, and silicone-based lubes may degrade many silicone toys. Water-based lubes are compatible with latex, vinyl, and with silicone… More confusion? Well, if you just don’t like water-based lubes, you might try testing your favorite lubricant before using it.
Just put a little lube in an inconspicuous place, and rub it around for several minutes. Then, wash it off, and look at the area closely. Smell it, too. In general, if the lubricant and the material the toy is made of are compatible, there should not be any sticky residue or odor, and the surface of the toy should be absolutely unaffected ~ as nice and shiny as new. If you’re not completely sure your favorite lube is safe with your toys, contact the lube manufacturer and ask their technical services department.
Simply that! We can’t possibly keep up with all of the personal lubrication companies and all of the formulas they make.
Pssst: Two condoms on the horse end, with some lube in between them, simulates that high dollar skin on a “stiff one” sensation.
Seems information about lube compatibility may not be clearly stated by manufacturers, and not such a simple task. We’re contacting several popular American lube companies and will sort through the replies, whenever we get some.! Mia’s experimenting (microscopes and stuff) and running some long term tests of her own, too! It’s a big job, but somebody’s gotta’ do it! We’ll get to the bottom of this and let you know what we learn. 😉
Condoms are always a good idea even though our silicone is the safest! Our toys may be sterilized and we hope you’ll be vigilant in helping to stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. If you want to be around for another round, always play safely! HIV, AIDS, and Hepatitis C are in epidemic proportions, and ignoring them and their victims is not a cure. No one who has sex with a partner is immune. No one who has these illnesses thought they would get them. It CAN happen to you and/or someone you love!!! Help to save our species!
Sex Ed and Silicone Facts:
If ya’ll want to learn more about testing lubes and other neat stuff, please visit Tantus.com. They are leading this industry to higher standards, over all, with very informative articles about how best to enjoy a safe and healthy sex life. Since all of their products meet or exceed any and all existing standards, they just tell you the truth!
We don’t watch ’em so you’re on your own there. We’re told there are plenty of them on the Internet and on TV adult pay channels like HBO. We have an official Feeldoe Message Board … ya’ might want to post a question to the group.
Our Feeldoe® Message Board is here for people to post and boast about their escapades (as politely as possible, please… folks can fill in the blanks!) though we have to admit that most couples who absolutely LOVE their Realdoe® are too busy doing it to write about it. Hehehe… Others share tips and tricks about learning to drive this new sex toy with out a harness. Our message board is there for customer support between customers! We don’t make any comments or postings ourselves so it’s the true scoop from nice readers like you.
We only ask that ya’ll play nice!
If ya’ have a question that isn’t answered here or there, please email it to the GRITS (That’s southern code for Girls Raised In The South – who lived to tell about it!).